Friday, April 27, 2007

City of Brotherly Love Not So Fraternal with Psychics

Interesting link to the Philadelphia Inquirer story today about the Quaker City's crackdown on store front fortune tellers!

One fellow quoted in the article made a very good point:

The owner of Psychic, a fortune-telling shop at 2041 Walnut St., sat on his steps yesterday and complained bitterly about the police action. He would not give his name or his lawyer's name.

"First of all," he said, "they've got to stop the 129 murders in this city. What we do is entertainment."

He also said the police Major Crimes Unit had shut him down even though he had bought a business license from the city and paid taxes.

"Shouldn't they be cracking down on rapes and murders, not palm readers?" he asked.

Excellent point, Mandrake! Considering that Philly has the highest murder rate on the East Coast, perhaps they should be more focused on that issue. Or ....

Could this be a clever plan by their City Hall to hire all those out of work soothsayers to sort out the mysteries behind all those murders??? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW!

AP-WIRE: Phila, PA; 4/27/2007:

ENGLISH MEDIUM CRIES "MURDER MOST FOUL"

Liverpool born, Derek Acorah, lately shit-canned by the producers of the UK TV hit, "Most Haunted" (See your local TRAVEL CHANNEL guide for times) has had scarier experiences in his storied life as a medium and spirit hunter, but not many compare with his huge reversal of fortune today just moments after opening his first "Spooks-Be-Us" US franchise in Center City. No sooner had Derek opened the doors this morning, then the boys in blue charged in wearing full SWAT attire and hustled him outside into an unmarked black armored van.

"They're takin' me out to their Black Mariah! Halp! Halp! SOOOMbody HAAAALLLP!", he cried out as the doors swallowed the former footballer and occasionally competent psychic. A blind old woman on the sidewalk at the time asked, "Was that Ringo Star? I had his baby, the bastid!"

A potential customer, who staggered out into the sunlight after this stupendous event, muttered to himself, "He's gone from Most Haunted to Most Fucked."

Derek's attorney had no comment. However, SAM, Derek's spiritual guide and a 2000-plus year old spirit entity, declared that Derek had misrepresented the situation in Philadelphia to him, and that he would be filing a suit of Discorporation in the near future.

4 comments:

(S)wine said...

i refuse to believe that "things are slow" for the respective PDs of which you write. swine! all of them

ESN-TNS said...

phila is the most poorly run major city in the world

Bwana said...

A much bigger town than Olde Boston, it is badly neglected.

Oh, and esn-tns: I am pysched about Randy Moss!

ESN-TNS said...

it's just run like george w is the major